I Just Want to Serve the Lord

I love teaching God’s Word. It fills me with joy and purpose. For the last two years I taught Bible to an amazing class of junior highers. It was the highlight of my week, and changed my life in many ways. Digging into God’s Word does that.

For practical reasons, I chose to teach history this year instead of Bible. I had no idea the emotional turmoil this would cause. I miss teaching Bible, ache for it. I tear up at times thinking about it. Amazing truths from Scripture seep into my soul, and it breaks my heart to not share them with my dear students. I regret my decision to teach history, and I wish God would do something providentially to open the door for me to return to Bible again. I don’t know if He will. So, I can do nothing … but wait.

Gratefully, I’ve been given the opportunity to speak at MOPS meetings this year. This has been a comfort to me—a source of hope. Sharing my story with moms like me is such a joy. I love it. I have a talk this Friday, which I’m so excited about.

Except for one thing. My voice is gone, and I feel miserable. Things may change, but at this point, I think I’m going to have to cancel.

In between coughs, I squeaked out my feelings about this to my husband this morning. “I just want to serve the Lord.” My heart felt heavy, sad.

He put his hands on my knees and tilted his head. “Oh babe, sometimes we serve Him by suffering.”

Tears came to my eyes because I knew he was right. I so often want to serve God in the fun ways—writing, speaking, teaching, giving. But the way of suffering is the way He chose to serve us. Our great Lord sacrificed His amazing home in heaven and the rich fellowship with His Father to walk the dusty earth, suffer as a man, and endure the torture of the cross—counting it all joy.

Lord, help me to serve You in whatever way you call me, letting go of my own ideas and clinging to You alone.


Books by Ocieanna

Posted in

Ocieanna Fleiss