I love you. I wish I could get that into your head and heart. I love you so much, many of my waking moments are spent thinking about you—how to love you better, how to make you understand how much you are loved.
You are awesome. You are smart and funny. You make me smile and bring joy to my life every day. I know sometimes I don’t show it like I should, but it’s true. I love your stories and your art. I’m amazed at your drawings—so creative and excellent.
Thank you for all your help. You help with the little ones and you help with the cleaning and chores. You talk to me like an adult when I need a real conversation. You help come up with problem-solving ideas.
Be a good friend and friends will be drawn to you. Love who God has made you to be and others will sense that confidence and want to be around you. Be yourself. No one wants to be around someone who isn’t real. Laugh and have fun and be slow to anger.
I want to be a better mom to you. Let’s laugh together. Let’s go out for ice cream soon, just me and you. It’s been too long. I know I must train you, help you with your character, show you how to be responsible, kind, patient, hard-working, and smart. I want to teach you these things because I love you so much. I want you to be happy, but I want you to grow in character more. Maybe you can do both.
Forgive me for my impatience. The times I show my frustration or selfishness in curt words or anger. The times I hurt you. I know it’s hard to forgive, to trust, and I’m grateful for your love. As much as I try, my son, I will always fail you. I’m not perfect. No one is. That hunger you feel, that longing for love and acceptance–I can’t fill that. I will always fall short. That’s why you must trust in Jesus. He will satisfy that longing. He won’t let you down, even when everyone else does–even when your mom hurts you. Cling to Him.
Finally, remember you are loved by God. Please believe me. You aren’t too bad to win his love. You aren’t too selfish or uncool or impatient. You haven’t sinned too many times. He still forgives you. He still loves you. He holds you in the shelter of his wings. He rejoices over you and says, “Well done.” As far as the east is from the west, you are loved. Look at the sky and think about his love. Once you rest in that, everything else falls into place.
Have a good day my sweet boy. Always remember your mom loves you.